So, Friday and Saturday tickets this weekend are free, but SATURDAY isn't. Of course not...

And the tirade continues!

So within the last hour my father has:

• Threatened to not help pay for any household expenses ever again, including taxes.
• Threatened not pay for my college tuition.
• Said, "I hope you two have fun when the government takes away the house"
• Said, "I will not accept my present if I don't approve of it"

Wouldn't it just be easier for him to say he's not coming? Honestly, if he's going to be a pain in the ass why even come? If the mere thought of us infuriates him this much why even come over for dinner? He can simply refuse to come.

That would be something to be thankful for.

I wish I could look this effortlessly gorgeous in clothing.

Why I'm never merry for the holidays.

The reason I don't like the holidays is best summed up in one word: Dad. My father is a man with a very short temper who blows up at the smallest things. If things are not perfect or identical to what he believes they should be he gets upset. What makes things unbearable is the fact that he yells and throws temper tantrums all over the house, so no one is really safe. Sometimes he gets so heated he throws random objects---luckily no one has ever gotten hurt.

Being thankful on Thanksgiving is a little hard when all the hard work you put into cooking a delicious meal and preparing the table for a finicky man ends up worthless. There is no "A" for effort or a "Well, there's always next year" with this man.

I can't count how many times he's completely neglected to say thank you for inviting him, for giving him a warm meal, for being good company. What's more is that his name day coincides with Thanksgiving, so we buy him presents and every year since I can remember he's had some kind of critique about what we've gotten him. He always specifies what he wants and he's always displeased with it. When you point out that the item meets his specifications, he proceeds to become more upset and nothing is resolved, only made worse.

The only way we've found to get through these times is sit and try our best to ignore what he says. As with little children you sometimes have to let them cool down on their own before you can speak reasonably with them.

(Yes, I just compared my father to a little child. I think it's a fair comparison)


It's already begun. My dad said we should buy him something at Lord and Taylor, to which my mother replied, "Why on God's green Earth would we shop for that there?" My dad let us know that he doesn't want shit, and if we are to buy him shit he'd rather not get anything at all!! (Indicating his displeasure by yelling the bold words) So, I cannot wait for Thanksgiving! I wonder what he'll hate more this year, his gift or dinner?

I hope your holidays are happy. :)

I am in some kind of euphoric state and I---love it. I hope this feeling stays for a long time.

I was wrong.

Thank God.

I have this feeling in the pit of my stomach that tonight is not going to end well. I think 1) a serious talk will be had or 2) something awful might happen or 3) a combination of both things.

Do you ever have anxious feelings? Do you ever hope to God you're completely wrong? Or that it's just...gas? ;)


I hope I'm wrong.

"A man could get lost in those eyes."

I think this is the nicest compliment I've ever gotten. I never get compliments about my eyes...

I dig this song a lot. I Guano Apes are fantastic, and I just love her voice.

A year ago...

• I was finishing up student teaching.
• stressing out over school.
• getting ready to get into the work force.
• dating someone I wasn't compatible with.
• talking about Twilight.
• not a big fan of Facebook.
• using music to show my emotions.
  

Uhm. I kind of want to see New Moon.

• One class down and one more to finish up. My last day of the semester is November 24th. I can't believe this semester is almost over with. I still have two more things to hand in (electronically) and I'll be done with my first semester of grad. school.
• I received a 25/25 on my presentation, which gives me a leg up on the paper. I hope I do well in that class and at least end up with a B. I deserve at least that for all the hard work I put into everything. Here's hoping for the best.
• I woke up at around 2:30 to try and see the meteor shower. I didn't want to leave the house with the wind being the way it was (windy?) so I just looked out various windows, but didn't really see much.Oh well, maybe some other time.
• Sometimes I wish life was similar to how it was back when I was younger. I hardly get to see my best friend nowadays because we have opposite schedules and rarely have the same days off, on the same note EVERYONE I know is busy and it's difficult to sync schedules.
  

Wow, so even though I did fantastic on my presentation my day sucked. Apparently, the two people that I care for and love think I'm a shitty person. At least they assumed I am such a person. Either way, they single-handedly ruined my night and made me cry.

150+ Things About Me!!! [November 2009 EDIT]

1. I only have two best girl friends, and although I don't see 'Lyn very often I still love her to death. We have to celebrate our friendship!
2. On that note, I have more guy friends than girl friends. Regardless, I need a bigger social circle since all of my friends have moved away and/or moved on with their lives.
   
3. I'm a college graduate of UIC! Class of 2008!
   
4. I like to take my time with things. I don't like rushing anything.
   
5. I'm known for over analyzing things.
   
6. I get upset over silly things because I over analyze situations. Most, but not all of the time.
   
7. I don't do well with stress. At. All.
   
8. I don't do well with little sleep and sickness (obvious, I know).
   
9. I'm sentimental about most things.
   
10. I worry about everything and anything under the sun, if the moods just right.
    
11. I love music. I'm currently in a 80-revival/Indie-Pop phase, but really, I enjoy any type of music. Any time. Any place.
    
12. I own an iPod Nano and I love it more than anything. I listen to it for hours on end--I think I'm becoming anti-social because of it! :-/
13. I used to watch TV, but lately I haven't seen any shows. I need to spend Dec. catching up.
    
14. If I had all the money in the world, I'd be rolling in technological gadgets. I love tinkering with new items like that. Apple= <3
15. I used to have a Netherland Dwarf rabbit. He passed away . RIP.
    
16. My favorite season is Autumn. Perfect weather.
    
17. I'm 100% Polish and I'm damn proud of it!
    
18. I love old people. I think they're wonderful.
    
19. Along with # 17, my favorite person in the world is my grandmother. She's sweet, she's insightful, she's realistic, passionate, and so much more. She's my inspiration.
    
20. My favorite colors are teal and aquamarine.
    
21. I love getting mail. It doesn't matter if it's a credit card company sending me junk; I just like getting it.
    
22. I wish I had more free time to myself to do the things I love.
    
23. I am currently taken and couldn't be happier. :)
    
24. I sing in the car. All. The. Time.
    
25. I love to go on walks and enjoy nature. I'm one of those people who actually smells the roses.
    
26. I used to live in Chicago...Ukranian Village to be exact.
    
27. My family still owns the apartment we lived in in Chicago.
    
28. I went to polish school for eight consecutive years.
    
29. I'm usually on time to everything.
    
30. My mom's my best friend, honestly.
    
31. I'm not a morning person. Ever.
    
32. I can never drink enough orange juice.
    
33. I eat. I swear. ;) Just very little all throughout the day.
    
34. I play the piano, the clarinet, and the guitar, but not very well.
    
35. I love to travel. I'd love to go to all over the world.
    
36. I love fresh salsa. I can make awesome quesadillas, salsa, and guacamole.
    
37. Chipotle is something I could have a life supply of.
    
38. I have three nicknames that I like and respond to: Ewunia, Ev, and Evil.
    
39. I love my friends, I love making new friends, but I sometimes have a tough time keeping up with them [I'M WORKING ON THIS---KEEP ME IN CHECK!!].
    
40. I'm obsessed with graphic tee's, scarves, coats. and purses.
    
41. I love to laugh. If you can make me laugh, you know I'm enjoying your company.
    
42. I prefer to send e-mail/SMS messages than talk on the phone. I’m an English major, are you really surprised?
    
43. I welcome change in small moderation.
    
44. I'll be 24 in November.
    
45. I love material objects that are white. That's why the furniture and gadgets in my room are all white.
    
46. I'm most comfortable on the beach. There's no place I'd rather be.
    
47. I'm obsessed with the paranormal. Ghosts and such fascinate me!
    
48. I like taking baths over showers.
    
49. Geology, in my opinion, rocks!
    
50. I love reading and writing fiction.
    
51. I'm on a quest to improve myself.
    
52. Every once in a while I crave attention. I like knowing I matter and such.
    
53. My favorite scent is cucumber melon.
    
54. The perfume I use is called, "Falling In Love." I'm hoping it'll work its magic with someone soon.
    
55. I've been on the internet since 1998.
    
56. I am pro-life.
    
57. I love to drive. Thanks for paying for insurance MOM; no thanks schmucky Dad.
58. I don't plan ahead very well (such as backing-up files I might want later). Actually, that's not true. I plan ahead just fine. It's the execution of the plan that is often the problem.
    
59. Things I find sexy: Sense of humor= sexy. Men with brains=sexy. Men who read= sexy. Men with facial hair and naval hair=super sexy.
    
60. I enjoy games of all sorts (video, board, role-playing, etc), but not as much as I used to. I’m growing out of it.
    
61. It's difficult to make me truly angry. I rarely stay mad for long unless you really hurt me in some awful way. I find that I can easily forgive people with time.
    
62. I'll answer any direct question you ask me. [The keyword is direct.]
    
63. I dislike being asked to provide the name of my favorite song, film, book, etc - because I find these things change moment to moment.
    
64. Someday I'd like to do one of two things: the first is retire and write a couple of novels (I don't care if they sell, it would just be nice to have something published), and second, I'd like to open a used bookstore.
    
65. I would like to resurrect words and slang from the past and reinstate them in the modern vocabulary.
    
66. I have long vivid dreams quite often.
    
67. I like to do the dishes and vacuum.
    
68. 67 and 28 are my favorite numbers; just because.
    
69. I‘m afraid of rejection of any sort.
    
70. My first kiss was with Stephen, a boy that lived down the block from me in Chicago. -I- kissed him.
71. I'm a submissive person by nature.
    
72. I‘m a good friend and a nice person, but I can be shy sometimes; so, it's not always obvious when you first meet me.
    
73. I like exclamation points!!!
    
74. I enjoy philosophical debates from time to time.
    
75. I don't like asking for help until I've tried to do something myself.
    
76. I think astrology is fun to read.
    
77. I think astronomy is fascinating.
    
78. I love spicy food, but it doesn't agree with my stomach all the time. This will never keep me away from Chipotle!
    
79. I usually hate when my birthday comes around, but I'm starting to warm up to it. The key, I think, is to spend it in good company.
    
80. I miss a lot of my old friends, and am finding it hard to meet new ones.
    
81. I very much hate being an only child because my parents treat me as if I'm still 7. They don't realize how much this ruins my social life.
    
82. I have never been arrested, gotten a ticket, or done anything remotely illegal.
    
83. I'm very serious and proper in classroom/professional settings.
    
84. I'm witty and random in small personal settings.
    
85. I've never been on a 'real (carnival roller coasters aren't 'real')' roller coaster, but I'd be willing to go if someone would hold my hand.
    
86. I enjoy fishing. I've been known to catch a few fish in my day.
    
87. I like watching the fireworks on the fourth of July.
    
88. I like to people watch.
    
89. I dislike Mondays like none other.
    
90. When I meet people for the first time sometimes I tell them my name is spelled Eva because it helps them pronounce my name correctly. For some reason the "w" makes everyone pronounce my name "Ewwwa."
    
91. I have never been able to say the words, "here" or "present" when my teacher were running through the class list the first few weeks of class. I always have to answer with the right pronunciation of my first name.
    
92. I could care less how my last name is pronounced.
    
93. I don't like my last name. AT ALL.
    
94. For a while I didn't want to get married or have children. I wanted to be the "dog lady." As opposed to the "cat lady."
    
95. I dislike cats. I don't trust their devil eyes.
    
96. If you whistle in front of me, I will get irritated.
    
97. I do not have a lot of shoes.
    
98. I'm often the navigator in the car.
    
99. I wish I could practice selective hearing more often.
    
100. I think my bed is incredibly comfortable and I spend most of my time relaxing on it.
     
101. I like sushi...so much so that...
102. I got a sushi maker for Christmas '07.
     
103. Coconut ice cream is my new favorite ice cream flavor. My old favorites are vanilla and mint chocolate chip.
     
104. I've never been to Disney World/Land.
     
105. I love having a snuggle-buddy.
     
106. I like to have small extravaganzas at mi casa from time to time with mi amiga.
     
107. I have been assaulted before…by a bush. ;)
     
108. I like to make up words that for some reason or not get stolen and are used for commercials on TV without my consent.
     
109. Animals do the craziest things in my presence. Squirrels eat gourmet sandwiches, Skippy peanut butter, muffins, and corn on the cob; cats glare at me; and dogs sneeze numerous times in a row.
     
110. I don’t care what people say; I KNOW I’m comedy gold.
111. Dane Cook is not only the sexiest man alive to me, but he is also one that can make me laugh at almost anything.
112. I drive a 2008 Nissan Rogue. I love love love it!!
     
113. I can't parallel park worth diddly-squat.
114. I have a crush on someone.
115. I've liked someone that wasn't attainable (at the time) and found it hard to not like them.
     
116. I'm prone to break-outs, because I have sensitive skin.
117. I have to clean my room often because everything collects dust like crazy.
118. I love to spend my weekends relaxing with a movie or TV and in the company of family or friends.
119. I don't function properly if I don't have someone to tell my problems to.
120. When I get busy I get anti-social.
121. I used to be a Sidekick LX owner, but now I own a Samsung Behold.
122. I'm a new fan of The Office and now I know what people meant when they told me that I'd fit in well on that show.
123. I saw an incredible amount of movies the summer of 2008. It was amazing and I hope to do it again every summer!
     
124. I really want to get a dog from the animal shelter.I want an old English sheepdog.
     
125. I'm an official member of the ASPCA.
126. I'm a (future )teacher. I just have to find a job first. Pray for me? Please!
     
127. I'm a fan of the Twilight Saga.
128. If I had a million dollars I'd buy my mom anything she's ever wanted no matter how big or small and save the rest.
129. I don't like to argue, I prefer discussions.
130. I think everyone has "The One".
     
131. I'm usually a quiet person, but when I feel passionate about something I'm not so quiet.
     
132. I was and am a Buffy fan.
133. I've never read or seen the whole Harry Potter series.
134. I've never read or watched LoTR.
135. I have yet to watch all of the Star Wars movies. I've seen about 3 of them. I fell asleep during one of them.
136. I have yet to watch: Scarface, any of the Godfathers, and most of the Rocky movies.
     
137. The first thing I'm going to do when I find a full-time teaching job is take everyone I know out for drinks.
138. I'm pretty laid back when it comes to dating, but if I really like someone I tend to fall hard and fast in lust with them.
     
139. I prefer texting people than calling them on the phone.
140. I used to be on AIM all the time and now I'm rarely on and when I am I'm idle or away.
141. I own a Wii and a Nintendo DS Lite.
     
142. All of the above are white.
     
143. I just started working out to get back into shape. It's a slow process: No more soda and watching what I eat isn't the issue---eating late when hanging out with friends is what gets me. Ouch!
144. I don't read as often as I'd like to.
145. I'm a PC person because I can't afford to switch to a MAC.
146. I own a PC and a notebook.
147. I'm a substitute teacher and still looking for a part-time or full-time teaching position.
148. I will be getting my Master's degree in 2011 or 2012.
149. I overuse Post-it notes.
150. Fresh-cut grass is the best natural smell.
     
151. My mom and I have an awesome vegetable garden.
     
152. I have a blueberry bush in my backyard.
153. I've been someone's first love.
154. I'm in love with a guy who loves me too.
      

Your peeps are on the same wavelength as you, and that wave involves a big surge of fun, fun, fun! This is a wonderful time in your life for group projects, group travel and group socializing. Collaboration will be easy, and everyone's flexibility is at an all-time high. The energy created when your posse gets together is positive and supportive. Cook something up! Toss out some ideas about where to go and what to do together.

I can't take this one serious because of the use of the word "peeps." Sorry, but I stopped reading after that.

Boyfs an uncle again to a brand new baby girl. Apparently girls are a rarity to his dad's side of the family. Congrats to them all!

Things are definitely changing for the better -- the tide is starting to turn in your life. But are you ready to take advantage of the new opportunities coming your way? You are if you have a path to follow and a plan to guide you. Now is the right time to build that plan and ask around for advice from friends and mentors. They know what you need to know and can tell you in a way you'll understand.

If I could, I'd move to Poland. I really have no connections here, as my family is all in Poland. Sometimes I feel alone living in America where I only a a couple of family members. I was born here, but I've always wanted to move overseas for at least a while and see what my life would be like if I lived there. At the very least I'd be with family.

It's not that I don't like America, even though sometimes I think it's a shitty place. It's not like any other place is much better. I just don't particularly feel like it's my true home.

I've lost my mind. Help....

I  really have nothing to say, I just felt like posting that I think I'm slowly becoming dumber. I think I hit my peak in high school and then it just went downhill somewhere my sophomore year in college. I honestly feel like I have no knowledge of the world around me, that I cannot retain information longer than a month, and that the knowledge I do hold in my brain is so useless and arbitrary that it doesn't even count for anything.

I need Ginkgo or something and I need to look over my old notes college notes from various classes. I have studied so many subjects and I feel I know nothing about any of them. How many times have I studied Shakespeare and his life and I still don't know the exact date of his birth or death, but I can at least recognize his poems and tell you what they're about and various other nifty facts about his life.

But seriously, I used to be quick about knowing random things about the world around me and now I feel very apathetic about everything. I remember sitting in the morning reading the Red Eye every morning. Granted it was the best news source, but at least I knew enough about what was going on that I could easily look it up online and fnd out more. I have no thirst for knowledge and I wonder where that part of me went? I want to emerse myself in a geology lecture or at least remember what the hell it was I learned during my first semester taking that course.

I need to find out where that piece of me went.

Delish!

Things I've noticed (lately)

• I used to be very punctual and early to things and then something happened. I started to pick and choose which events were necessary to be early to. School and work still have top priority on my list of places to arrive early to.
• When I get busy I neglect pretty much everything except for school/work. I don't call, I don't write, I don't THINK about anything else except for what's due and when.
• I'm pretty open with other people, but at the same time I tend to put up walls for no reason. It's like line from that one song (so specific!), "I break up with you before you can". I try to be ahead of the game and I guess deep down inside I think everything is bound to fall apart.
• My self-esteem, thus, is pretty low. 
• Why can't I just be happy with life even when things get hectic and busy?
• I have a really amazing boyfriend, things are going extremely well with us. I am close to him on so many levels. If I lost him I would be really upset---and I think the idea of losing him makes me want to put up a wall for that not to happen to me.
• I'm a pretty good substitute, but I still have a lot of learning to do to become a good teacher. I'm OK with that. I think my Master's degree will help me become better.
• I have to set a monetary amount for Christmas gifts. 
• I have a group project, a partner project, a 10 page paper, a 3 page paper, a ton of reading, a final, and work for the next several weeks.